Bill Blunt's Guide to Wetherspoons: No 2: Birkenhead: The Brass Balance

After the acclaim which was accorded my first entry into the Bill Blunt Wetherspoon Guide, it's time, I think, to crack on with the second entry. Having settled on The John Laird as my starting point, it makes sense to review its Birkenhead younger brother, The Brass Balance.

Nestling in a busy street off Birkenhead's rather beautiful Hamilton Square, The Brass Balance offers a (slightly) more up-market environment for the discerning Birkenhead drinker and diner. Named after its former role as the factory of W&T Avery, the scales manufacturers who occupied the site from the early 1900's until the Second World War (although it has had a few incarnations since then - including an Italian restaurant) the Brass Balance is a large pub with a beer garden to the rear to satisfy those individuals (such as Mrs Blunt) who like to pollute the environment with their foul-smelling cheroots.

The menu of food on offer is err... exactly the same as you'll find in any other Wetherspoons. The breakfast is again a good value option, available until 12 noon for just £2.10. The staff seem friendly enough - though perhaps a little more reserved than their counterparts across town.

Old pictures of Birkenhead decorate the walls, as do historical snippets on the town's great and good citizens. Little wonder that my old friend, Tommy Hamburger, was driven to make The Brass Balance the spiritual home of his fictional creation, Harry McFry, who had a bit of a bent for history himself.

The wi-fi access hasn't always been as reliable as it might be, but today (thankfully) it's top-notch. And so, to the scores...

Decor: 8/10
Food Quality: 8/10
Value for money: 9/10
Location: 8/10
Wifi Access: 9/10

Bill Blunt's Guide to Wetherspoons: No 1: Birkenhead: The John Laird

INTRODUCTION

Following recent requests from my loyal readers, I have decided to launch the Bill Blunt Guide to Wetherspoons.

This occasional series will chart my own personal view of this pub chain. It already ranks quite high in my esteem in general terms, since it offers its customers free wi-fi access. This has often been a life-saver to old Bill, as I zig-zag across the country in search of all the news that isn't news, to keep my readers happy.

I must confess you don't see many Wetherspoon regulars using their laptop while having a drink. But I'm sure it's only a matter of time.

I'm kicking off my guide with a pub that I came to know well when I worked on the Birkenhead Beagle: The John Laird. Birkenhead is blessed with two Wetherspoon pubs, and I'll be covering the The Brass Balance at a later date.

The John Laird takes it's name from the shipping magnate who helped make Birkenhead the thriving industrial centre it once was. It's located just behind the rather ugly shopping centre that dominates the town centre. Wetherspoons practices differential pricing in it's establishments - and The John Laird is most definitely one of the cheaper places in their chain.

It's not one of the biggest Wetherspoon's you'll ever go in, and it's clients are most decidedly among the more hardened drinkers of Britain. It's not unusual to see half a dozen elderly men taking a pint or two at breakfast.

The place is still suffering from the pre-smoking ban days, but a lick of paint will no doubt freshen up the decor a little.

But it's an honest enough place, with plenty of characters to meet. The staff are some of the friendliest you'll find in a pub, and they're equally happy serving Bill his 79p cappucino as they are the regulars with their pints of Marston's Pedigree at £1.39.

Wetherspoons keeps its prices low by fast rotation of stock. As a rule, you'll find a wide range of regional, guest ales, too.

The full English breakfast costs just £2.10 - a bargain, in anyone's language. Don't expect haute cuisine - but what you'll get will be well-enough executed, and pretty healthy for a cooked breakfast, with the preference being for grilling, rather than frying.

I've never had a problem accessing the wifi signal from this site (would that this were true in every Wetherspoons).

And so, to the score:

Decor: 7/10
Food Quality: 9/10
Value for money: 9/10
Location: 5/10
Wifi Access: 10/10

Whither Wetherspoon's?

The Wetherspoon chain of pubs in the UK has always striven to be a little bit different. Their ability to takeover existing buildings such as old cinemas, theatres and the like and to transform them into civilised places to drink has taken them a long way. Their commitment to good beers and ales, sourced from all around the world, has introduced the palates of a new generation of drinkers to the delights of ‘real ale’ at a fair price. Meanwhile, their early morning opening times, and service of a full English breakfast for as little as £2.10 (just around $4, for the benefit of any trans-continental readers of this column) is a rare bargain in a world of ever-increasing costs.

Now, they’ve gone wi-fi, and are currently offering 30 minutes of free wi-fi access to all customers. For the cost of one of their very fine Lavazza coffees (just 79p in most of their premises across the country – even if a disappointed Chelsea player would be asked to pay 99p in central London), you can ‘surf the net’, catch up on e-mails and even – as I am this very minute – post to a blog. And all from the comfort of a sunny conservatory overlooking the Cheshire countryside.

I don’t wish my good friend Thomas Hamburger Jnr to feel redundant, however. Without the patient explanation of the pub manager, I would probably still be stuck at stage one of the helpful instructions they provide for you to connect up. But, it’s personal progress of a sort, for me, even if, in future, I’ll still be asking Tommy to do my postings.

The whole experience has, however, given me a genuine love of the Wetherspoon ethos. Long may they thrive. I know Mr Hamburger would agree – since his genealogical mystery has more than once name-checked The Brass Balance in Birkenhead, which I know was always a particular favourite of his.