Friday, 15 May 2009

Rubber Banned

I am sure there is a whole generation of youngsters growing up for whom the concept of popping into WH Smiths for a box of elastic bands must seem a rather alien, and even antique, business.

Ever since the Royal Mail adopted its policy of strewing our pavements with rubber bands, the need to trot off down to the stationers to replenish supplies has become unnecessary. Our postal service has - in between deluging us with junk mail – thoughtfully made the buying of elastic bands a redundant occupation.


I’m not exactly sure how they achieve this, but it’s almost impossible to walk more than a hundred yards in any town or city without seeing one of these bright red rubber bands. I like to think they have fleets of vans patrolling our streets in the dead of night, distributing them by the fistful through open windows as they speed along.


However they manage it, I take my hat off to them. They certainly know how to win the hearts and minds of the British population, and it can’t be long, surely, until they move on to phase two of their master plan – Operation Paper Clip. If that goes well, it’s only a matter of time until every street corner will have its own Community Stationery Cupboard, and gone will be the need for the middle classes to pilfer items from the office.


That day can’t come too soon, in my book.


5 comments:

Daddy Papersurfer said...

I knew somebody who actually thought that the elastic bands were secret messages left by communists ...... really!

Gail said...

Perhaps they could tear off the packaging as they run from house to house (trying to keep up with the Post office's ambitious time and motion demands). It would be very useful to find large pieces of brown paper to re-use, plus it would save us time in unwrapping parcels.

Bill Blunt said...

Can we be sure they are not, DP? I am sure elastic bands were provided free to all citizens in many countries in the former Soviet bloc. It was one of Brezhnev's proudest boasts...

Gail, I shall gladly pass on your worthy suggestion to the powers that be at the Royal Mail. And any others received.

marlowjust said...

I don't see too many rubber bands in my neck of the woods. Is that a Royal Mail thing?

Bill Blunt said...

Well, Justin, I'd be making a complaint to the Royal Mail pretty sharpish if I were you... it sounds like blatant discrimination.