Help!

If anybody is reading this, please arrange some assistance for me. I am being imprisoned against my will be a group of evil tripe barons.

This posting is my equivalent of a message in a bottle, so I hope one of my readers picks it up. About six months ago I (reluctantly) agreed to return to the old family firm of William Blunts and Sons, manufacturers and purveyors of fridge magnets since 1876. I had a few ideas about how they could move into the 20th century by embracing the internet, so I wasn't too dispirited by the idea of returning to the Blunt fold. My days as a journalist are well behind me, so eking out a few bob in my dotage by helping to flog acrylic fridge magnets seemed a reasonable proposition.

The move back to the Blunt magnet empire was first mooted a year ago, and I promised to mull it over. Then, out of the blue, I received a call to say that someone had found a haul of old documents which appeared to be the archives of my own family, the Blunts. The stash of material was so large that I asked a friend of mine, Dr Derek Ripley, to have a look at it. He subsequently agreed to write up a sort of official history of the family, and this was published in July of this year.

Through some arrangement I don't fully understand, he asked the Tripe Marketing Board to publish his book. This was apparently their first foray into publishing outside of recipe books. As Dr Ripley is an old friend of mine, I agreed to help him promote his book (particularly since it included the history of the family firm). Slowly but surely the tentacles of the Tripe Marketing Board have embraced me. Two weeks ago I was sent on a Tweeting course and informed that the Board 'expected' me to issue some 20 'tweets' a day to fulfill my 'moral' obligation to my friend. Since then, I feel that I have become a prisoner in my own home, regurgitating tripe via my mobile phone and through these columns (you must have noticed, surely?)

Where I thought I was promoting Dr Ripley's book, I now see that this is merely a device to promote tripe! Like many of the media, I thought this was the other way round - that the TMB had perhaps been invented to promote Dr RIpley's book (The Times certainly thought so). Now, however, I hear that sales of tripe have doubled in some parts of the UK and that on Saturday last, in Wigan, the tripe stall there sold out of produce after a promotional event by the TMB's Men In White.

To make matters worse, they were handing our promotional fridge magnets for tripe, creating yet another layer of confusion for an already bewildered public. Are the fridge magnets to promote tripe, or Dr Ripley's book? Is Dr Ripley's book, which tells the true and detailed history of the fridge magnet, merely a device to sell more fridge magnets (my colleagues at William Blunt and Sons will certainly hope so!).

If you have followed any of this, please send for help for me. The TMB have asked me to publish this video from their YouTube Channel. I feel I have no alternative but to do so. I wish I could say it clarified matters, but it doesn't.

Tripe In The News

Those doughty folk at The Tripe Marketing Board managed to wheedle their way in to the City Diary on the Times, yesterday...

Where will they turn up next??
 

Tripe Fights Back!

Five years ago I reported here that tripe sales had been facing a year on year decline since 1953. The Tripe Marketing Board were marshaling their (admittedly slim) resources and preparing a comeback for the product. 

  

It has taken time. 

Fortunately, a bequest from a recently-deceased tripe lover means they have been able to invest heavily in advertising and social media. They now have a website and a YouTube Channel (to which they are inviting subscribers).  They seem to be using Facebook to good effect and recently offered me the post of Chief Twitter Feed. I can't pretend I'm unhappy as the retainer they have offered will pay for a nice little holiday somewhere warm over the winter (and I don't mean Southport!). 

As their slogan puts it: Love Life. Love Tripe. I don't think I could put it better than that myself. 

Check Your Facts!

It's a long time since I've had to make reference to Wally Green. As a cub reporter on the Stockport Examiner, Wally was a great influence on me. It was towards the end of March, 1967, and I received a phone call inviting me to a meeting of the Avril Phirst Appreciation Society - supposedly a group set up to commemorate the career of an Oldham actress from the 1930's. 

I was all ready to attend, when Wally suggested I make a few enquiries about the Society. Needless to say, they didn't check out, and I managed to avoid a bit of egg on my face by covering something which was clearly an April Fool's joke. If only the Wally's Wise Words were available to today's journalists. It started here: 

http://www.lancashiretelegraph.co.uk

and in less than 24 hours had appeared here 

http://www.mirror.co.uk

not to mention here

http://www.dailymail.co.uk

Now, did anyone even attempt to contact Sir Norman Wrassle, who is quoted so extensively? Wally's Wise Words should be tattooed on the arm of every journalist. Check your facts - especially if they appear on the World Wide Web! 

Olympic Fever Sweeps The Sitting Room

While I can't pretend I'm not enjoying the Women's Beach Volleyball, I must confess I am finding the saturation coverage of the Olympics a little difficult to bear. 

I can't help feeling that more local sporting attractions are being somewhat overshadowed by the media's constant focus on London 2012. It's time the balance was redressed...


 

Family Fortunes

It has come as something of a shock to discover that I am related by direct descent from some of the north west's greatest failures...

  

Thanks for nothing, Derek J Ripley! 

Sorry, I Forgot...

It's been a busy time here at Chez Blunt - with much of my free time being devoted to revitalising the fortunes of the old family firm, William Blunt and Sons. 

 I'm told it's not many more weeks before their online shop will be fully up and running again after its over-haul.  At the same time, I was approached a couple of weeks ago by my old sparring partner Thomas Hamburger Jnr who, against all the odds, has dusted off his unfinished online novel and is close to completing it.  He asked me if I minded casting my journalist's eye over a late draft, and I've spent a few evenings doing exactly that.

As if that wasn't enough, my friend Derek Ripley has had to remind me that I promised to plug his new book when it came out.

Forgotten Lancashire and Parts of Cheshire and the Wirral was published on 4 July and sales seem to be doing remarkably well in Lancashire, parts of Cheshire and the Wirral, from what he tells me.

There does seem to be some confusion about the book, however, as his publishers have classified it as 'humour' rather than as 'local history'.  Derek is a bit peeved about that, I don't mind saying.

www.forgottenlancashire.co.uk

Anyway, in his plundering of the archives of the old family firm, he's come across some interesting documents and artifacts, including this example of a propaganda fridge magnet that was dropped over north west England by the Luftwaffe in 1943.

Pole Dancing

Who'd have thought it? 

My good friend Derek Ripley has uncovered evidence of the first Pole Dancing Club in Failsworth, near Oldham (one of my former haunts - Oldham, that is, not Failsworth).

It just goes to show you what the power of history is. Derek's new book is out in a week or so. I'll doubtless be asked to plug it, so I might as well direct you to his website now.

I was delighted to learn that my good friend, Derek J  Ripley, is about to have a book published.

I first met Derek when he was working as a librarian in Stockport and I was a cub reporter on the Stockport Argus and Mail, and we have kept in touch across the decades. 

I've always had a soft spot for history myself, so when I learned that the old Blunt family archive had been discovered after being lost since the late 1970's, it was natural that I should turn to Derek to help catalogue and compile the index. When he suggested he could put together a book from the material, I was happy to let him get on with it. 

 I wish him every success with his publication - there are more details here.

20th Century Spatchcock

It seems as though the public are responding in droves to the recent appeal for lost Alfred Spatchcock films. For such an under-rated director, it's touching to know that his former audiences remember and cherish his contribution to British cinema. 

In the last two weeks, there have been over a hundred films submitted to the archivist trying desperately to catalogue newly-discovered Spatchcock films. I understand that none other than Derek Ripley has been asked to explore the potential of collating these into printed form, which is an exciting prospect. 

Recently re-discovered films include: 

Gunfight at the O. K. Sauce Factory (1957) 

Everything You Wanted To Know About Socks (But Were Afraid To Ask) (1972) 

The Woollen Horse (1950) and 

The St. Valentine's Day Manicure (1967) 

I am sure, though, that these hundred new films are only the tip of a very large iceberg. Spatchcock was nothing if not prolific in his output, and what his films lacked in quality they more than made up for in quantity. So, if you are aware of any lost films, I can only appeal to you to contact the website that is collating them. 

An Appeal From The Heart

It's not often that Bill Blunt lends his imprimatur to other projects - particularly when there is no money involved. However one such project has caught my eye, and I am pleased to promote it to my readers. 

More years ago than I care to think, I saw my first Alfred Spatchcock film, and it made such an impression on me that I soon considered myself to be something of a fan of his.  I'm not sure whether it was the sheer scale of his output - he is reckoned to have produced as many as 20,000 films from his tiny studio in Hollinwood, Oldham - or the fact that, like me, he is a northerner through and through.

Whatever the reason, there's no doubting that his was a rare talent.  I will always remember the first time I saw Murder on the Transpennine Express (1974) - although the critics panned it, I could see it was a classic in the making.

Sadly, many of his films have disappeared, and now the hunt is on to try to relocate them.  Can I ask that readers check their lofts and garages to see whether they might not have a missing reel or two?

A Slight Sense of Trepidation

I'm not sure what I thought when I first saw the advert for Ryanairhotels.com land in my in-box this morning. 

I only know that a shudder went through me, as I recalled my last attempt at booking a flight through Mr O'Leary's website. There are so many boxes to check and uncheck that I wasn't sure at one point whether I hadn't booked a flight but instead bought myself a whole new (unwanted) set of luggage.

So what will the Ryanair Hotels experience be like? If they adopt anything like the business model of the airline, I imagine when you check in you'll be charged extra if you've brought any luggage.   And we'll be asked if we want to pay more for towels, soap and lighting in our rooms.  Breakfast will no doubt be served in some hideous yellow and blue dining room, selected from a menu where each item is individually (over)priced and generally not very appealing.

I think I'll stick to Holiday Inn.

Sit Back & Enjoy The Tripe

It's almost five years to the day since I first extolled the virtues of tripe, and wished success to the people at the Tripe Marketing Board in their campaign to persuade the public to eat more of the stuff. 

It's an uphill battle in a fast-food age, I suppose, but that doesn't mean we should turn our back on tripe.  Perhaps as a result of my posting, or perhaps because they simply recognise an afficionado of tripe when they see one,  I am delighted to report that I have now been approached by the TMB (what took them so long?) to act as an advisor and to help them judge the 2012 Annual Tripe Awards. 

I will of course keep my readers posted.  There's a lot of tripe about - it just seems a shame no one wants to eat it.

It's Grim Oop North

When, at licence payer expense the BBC decides to move its news operation to Salford, that's their business.     

I've been following this story with interest, as you might imagine.

Now I see that the BBC isn't content with transplanting its news production in the north - it wants Salford to move out.  I, for one, think that's a bit rich.

 Meanwhile, I'll be monitoring the news output to check for the 'subtle differences' predicted by Adam Bullimore...

Coffee Time

It's a little over four years since I sang the praises of Sainsburys Basics Ground Coffee.   I'm still a regular purchaser (decanted,of course, into a smart Illy tin so my visitors won't know).

At the time, 227gm could be bought for 79p and was something of a bargain against the likes of Lavazza at £1.99 a packet.  Less than half the price.

In the intervening years, Lavazza has increased in price to around £2.99 for 250gm (about 12p per gram).

Compare that to Sainsburys Basics, now selling at £1.69 - or 7.4p per gram.

And suddenly, the basics isn't quite the bargain it once was.

Keep your eyes open folks.   Vanilla ice cream's the next one for the inflation pump.