Did the earth move for you?

At my age in life, it's rare to feel the bed rattling against the wall, still less the very foundations of my bijoux residence shaking. It was a strange feeling, therefore, to be jolted awake at one o'clock this morning, to feel an unusual, trembling sensation - especially since I was sleeping alone.

As a well-trained newspaper hack, my first instinct was to think 'It's an earthquake' - a thought I rapidly dismissed as improbable, replacing it with the notion that it must, instead, be my next door neighbour's washing machine on it's 2000 rpm spin cycle. It wouldn't be the first time she's taken advantage of the Economy 7 tariff to freshen up her smalls.

I felt a certain sense of vindication, therefore, when turning on the news this morning. Minor earth tremor in Market Rasen, Lincolnshire - not many hurt. The kind of gem of a story we used to love on the Stockport Herald, rubbing our hands with glee as we tried to locate a local angle on the tale. Those lucky buggers at the Market Rasen News must think all their birthdays have come at once! Thankfully, the quake came too early to affect this decision, so the good people of the area may well yet get their swimming pool.